Amazing dates for her

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Eva W.

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Article about amazing dates for her:

g. over a few hours) that she doesn t want date me anymore. Why am I so upset over something that only lasted 5 weeks: dating_advice Sorry for the long post, I',m just in a bit of a hole right now and want to vent.

 

 

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We’re both 30. She was very open early on about how much she liked … 6 amazing dates with a girl, grew very close with each other, then she abruptly decided (e.g. over a few hours) that she doesn't want date me anymore. Why am I so upset over something that only lasted 5 weeks? Sorry for the long post, I'm just in a bit of a hole right now and want to vent. We’re both 30. She was very open early on about how much she liked me, I was also open with her that I felt the same. We’d both agreed that we wanted to just see each other on our 2nd date, and after we spent the night at mine that night, it seemed like the right decision. We had a huge amount in common, our sense of humour was exactly the same, liked the same music, similar geeky interests, both fancied the pants off each other, and to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten on so well with someone so early on, not even with any of my exes from past LTRs. She’d message me every day saying morning, night etc, she was really affectionate, we literally talked every day, which I was doubtful of but she always wanted to message me and I just didn't question it. Saw each other twice a week and had seen each other every weekend for the last 4 weeks. Probably moving a bit fast but we discussed this a few times and both said it felt natural. Yesterday was meant to be our 7th date, she asked to reschedule for Thursday then when I double-checked later last night, she gave me the dreaded ‘I’m really sorry, can I let you know?’. So I said the whole ‘if you’re not sure about this you can just tell me, it’s OK’. She dropped it on me that she’d been going through 'some stuff' the last week and that’s why she’d been a bit off with me sometimes (I hadn't noticed), she’s not in the right headspace and shouldn’t be dating, can’t make it a priority, and didn’t want to lead me on anymore. I'm not sure if me saying that kinda forced her hand by putting her under pressure. Like if I'd said 'yeah sure' instead, whether she would've been OK, or if it would've just prolonged it and I'd have gotten the same answer a few days later. I was very chill and calm with her when she was telling me everything, but didn't *really* get what she was saying as it was all quite vague, in fact she actually apologised for being vague and said she didn't know what else to say. But it’s really knocked me for six. She said she'd gotten so used to talking to me every day, seeing me so much and that it would feel 'strange' to not do that anymore. Weird choice of words personally, she obviously wanted to do talk every day and was always keen to make more plans, I'd have said it would rather feel quite shit to not do that anymore. She said that she really likes me and we have such a great time together, and that I’m lovely, but she’s just not in the right headspace to date and needs to get her shit together. She didn't seem interested in trying to pick anything back up later, or just chill/ cool things down like I proposed to her. I said I wished she’d told me this earlier and she said what had made her come to this decision had only just happened that day. I've no idea what happened but if she'd been going through stuff the past week but was happy to keep seeing me, then only yesterday something else had happened to make her drop me entirely, it feels like a bit of a rash decision tbh. She'd already said she'd been single the past 3 years, and didn't still talk to her ex or anything so I don't think it was that. I can't imagine what it would've been as I had no idea she had any issues, she seemed very centred tbh. She seemed to feel quite bad and kept apologising, I just said 'take care x', she replied the same and I deleted the chat. She then sent me a meme on Instagram (something we’d made a habit of doing with each other), followed by ‘last one’. I replied with ‘stop this please, it’s really unfair’. Then ‘it seems like you think this is some kind of a joke, everything had been going great and you’ve just dropped this on me and are trying to send me ‘last one’ messages like it's nothing. It’s really insensitive’. She replied saying ‘Sorry, you're right it's insensitive, I just wanted to try make you smile’ and I said ‘It's sweet that you want to make me smile but I’m sorry, sending me a meme after you’ve just rejected me out of nowhere isn’t going to make me smile’. It just seemed like an incredibly tone-deaf thing to do on her part. She'd never given me the impression that she was that emotionally unavailable etc and I expected better from her tbh. Almost like she thought that suddenly cutting off something you've both been open about being very into was a small thing. Which I don't believe, because otherwise, she wouldn't have been so keen to talk all the time and see me so much. Just really weird. She again said ‘sorry x’, I read it and deleted the chat. I reluctantly unfollowed her etc this morning, after realising that I kept looking at her profile, saw her posting memories on her story which upset me as it made me feel like she’d made me such a priority the last 5 weeks then suddenly decided she didn't want to see me anymore at all and not really bothered by that etc. So I don't understand why she made this complete 180-degree turn, feeling pretty shit today, trying to get my head into moving on, but still stupidly trying to get my head around it too ‍♂️ I feel silly to be so affected by what was realistically dating someone for only 4/5 weeks-albeit somewhat intensely/ proactively I guess-but I really felt like it could go somewhere and let my guard down I suppose. Now I just feel like I can’t trust anyone, even after 6 solid, amazing dates. I guess I just can't understand how you can say that you really like someone, get on so well with them every time you see them, that they really brightened up the last month for you, clearly want to talk to them every single day, tell them they're amazing and always say how nice it was spending time with them, and in the same breath say you also never want to see them again, and apparently not be bothered by that at all. It's like her feelings and interest in me just disappeared. TL,DR: met a girl who I got on with amazingly well straight away-have never got on this well with someone-7 dates in she drops it on me that she doesn’t want to date me anymore, said she shouldn’t be dating anymore at all. Has anyone ever experienced or said something similar? I don’t get it.

Amazing dates for her

 

 

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